Self-Care as an Introvert
- Sep 9, 2016
- 5 min read
Well the school year is back in full swing, and I'm getting used to having a routine after my lazy summer! My body is having a hard time adjusting to being back in the car for several hours a day as well as having sessions and lunch at different times each day. Being an itinerant music therapist definitely has it's challenges as well as it's benefits. This year I'm trying to focus on emotional, physical, and social self-care, and really listen to what my body is craving (and not just french fries!)
Most days, I would have to label myself as an introvert. I have a few extrovert tendencies, but I don't believe I am out-going enough to be labeled an extrovert or even an ambivert. Here is a definition of introvert that really stuck with me and I think sums me up to a T:
"Given the choice, you’ll devote your social energy to a small group of people you care about most, preferring a glass of wine with a close friend to a party full of strangers. You think before you speak, have a more deliberate approach to risk, and enjoy solitude. You feel energized when focusing deeply on a subject or activity that really interests you. When you’re in overly stimulating environments (too loud, too crowded, etc.) you tend to feel overwhelmed. You seek out environments of peace, sanctuary, and beauty; you have an active inner life and are at your best when you tap into its riches." - Quiet Revolution
While I don't think that being an introvert is a bad thing, it definitely can have it's challenges, especially working in people-work. I'm starting year two as an itinerant school-based music therapist, and I'm realizing what self-care methods works best for my personality, and ways that I like to unwind. Also, just because I'm an introvert, doesn't mean I don't NEED human connection. After work and on weekends, I love spending time with my close friends, my boyfriend, and his family. But I also cherish time spent on the couch alone binge-watching Netflix. I decided to write/ramble a bit about some of the experiences that I have had and how I cope with some of my solitary tendencies.
Self-care tip: Accept yourself as an introvert.
I love to be around people, but only people that I know very, very well. This can be quite a challenge for an itinerant therapist! At a typical school, I am in and out in 30-45 minutes, with some rare exceptions of longer stays. This makes making friends with teachers and staff difficult. Besides, when I am at a school or in a classroom, I am focused on my students, and rarely have time for anything more than small talk. So, while I am constantly around people all day long, it can be quite lonely. This does make me cherish the friendships I have made so far while I've been at my district! The people I work with are some of the best people that I know, and I thrive off their energy and patience.
Self-care tip: A L W A Y S make time in your day for lunch!
Most days I eat lunch alone, by choice! Like I mentioned before, I have a hard time making friends with teachers at schools because I'm not there long enough to have meaningful conversations. I learned last year to avoid teacher's lounges, because they make me feel like an outsider. Most teachers are super friendly and will say hi to me if they see me sitting alone in the lounge, but many probably think I am just a random sub and go about their business with their grade level friends. So I've had to get creative when it comes to lunches. I find secret/unused rooms to hang out in. I am on a first name basis with the manager of our local Chick-fil-a (free wifi, y'all!) And I do have a few friends around the district that I drop in on and eat with. Later this month, our SPED office remodel will finally be finished, and I will add that to the list of places to crash. [Story time: Once when I was sitting in a teacher's lounge by myself after lunch getting some work done, a teacher came in twice and both times TURNED THE LIGHTS OFF ON ME WITHOUT EVEN RECOGNIZING WHAT SHE HAD DONE.]
Self-care tip: Make self-care a priority when building your schedule!
I love scheduling so much that I schedule alone time. I don't know if this means that I'm crazy and clingy, but if my boyfriend has to stay late at work or makes other plans, I get super bummed when I get stuck with an unexpected night alone. I just have a hard time enjoying alone time when I haven't had a lot of social interaction during the day. BUT, the way I have learned to deal with this weird quirk is that I schedule alone time! My boyfriend gets to have a boys night with his friends after work, and I get to watch all of my guilty pleasure tv shows and revel in my solitude. I have found that scheduling me-time gives me something to look forward to during the week, and when I know alone time is coming, my extrovert side can prepare.
Self-care tip: Find an audiobook or podcast about a subject that you love!
I rarely listen to music on my commutes. Don't get me wrong, I love music. I listen to music all the time. But during the work day, I find that I often need some separation from music during my drives to and from schools. I have found that listening to audiobooks and podcasts helps to fill my brain space between sessions. I really try to make the time I spend in my car a chance to decompress, especially if I'm feeling particularly overstimulated. [Since I've started working with kids with ASD, I am much more aware of my own sensory needs.]
Self-care tip: Time to kill between sessions? Call your mom or dad just to chat!
I love talking on the phone to my friends, family, and mentors. I know there are a lot of people who strongly dislike talking on the phone. I find that it is one of the easiest ways for me to keep in touch and connected with so many people in my life. My parents and sisters recently moved from Texas to Indiana, and two of my best friends live four to five hours away from me. While texting is a great invention, and I have many group text threads, it's just not the same as hearing your loved one's voice on the other end of the phone.
Self-care tip: Two words: Peer. Supervision.
Find 1 or 2 or a community of therapists that you feel comfortable talking, venting, and sharing with. One of my best friends, Stephanie, and I have a standing phone date on Mondays after work and we catch up and share therapy ideas on our commutes home. I have mentors that I know I can call whenever I have a question or need help. One goal for this school year for me is to actually create a small peer supervision group with regular meetings of other MTs who I know from grad school who are still fairly new to the profession and may be facing some of the same challenges that I am.
I hope this post may be helpful and wasn't just full of ramblings by a crazy woman. I hope to make more self-care posts as I find more things that work for me! Stay tuned!
"Sing"cerely,
Sarah
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